Struggles

Fall has always been my favorite time of year. I love the cooler weather, the smells, and the leaves turning bright golds, reds, & oranges. I just love this time of year! But ever since my father became sick in the fall of 2006 it's become a very difficult time of year for me. I was his care giver until I could no longer handle it. I spent everyday w/him until the week before he passed. I just couldn't stand to see him looking the way he did anymore. It hurt me so much! A church friend/nurse took over until he passed Dec 14, 2006. I still love fall, and I always will. But this time of year changes me. Once again it's that time of year. Time when I need "me" time, to be alone, cry, and reflect. I close myself off from almost everything and everyone around me. I'm sure they wonder why and I wish I could explain what I'm going through, but I can't. I just miss my dad so much! All I can say is don't worry, I will be alright. I will re-emerge when I am ready, and things will go back to being the way they once were.